Season 6 Episode 10 - Old Ares Had a Farm

While go out to eat in a pub Xena and Gabrielle find out that people now know that Ares is mortal and lots of warlords are trying to kill him for a bounty. So Xena and Gabrielle find Ares and after protecting him from battling Siki (listen to the sounds below), they tell him he has to hide for a while. Ares agrees and thinks that a king would be a pretty good idea, but Xena has something else in mind and tells Ares to become a farmer. After a lot of persuasion Xena and Gabrielle manage to get Ares to go to the farm that Xena's grandparents lived in. After seeing it Ares agrees to stay there, grudgingly.

By now some of the warlords have found out where Ares is and are going to try and find and kill him. Back on the farm Ares is proving to be a terrible farmer and can't be bothered to do anything, then they are visited by the neighbor Greba who tells then that an army lead by Gasgar is heading towards the valley. So Xena goes and pays Gasgar a visit and tells him that she will kill Ares for him! Gasgar accepts her proposal and she tells them where he is. Meanwhile back on the farm Gabrielle thanks Ares for saving her life when he gave up his immortality and Ares explains to her that she was just an after thought, he was saving Eve to save Xena. Then Xena comes back and the three of them go to bed. The next day Xena's breastplate goes missing and she is furious the three of them search for the thief and find out that the thief is actually just a dog. Ares hates the dog and hates it even more when it starts to follow him all over the farm. Then Xena and Gabrielle go out and try and find some things for the farm while Ares stays and fixes the roof. While doing so he gets another visit from Greba who offends him by implying that Xena and Gabrielle are his daughters. Once he corrects her by telling her they're his slave girls she leaves and he continues fixing the roof, then he falls through the roof. When Xena and Gabrielle get back Ares is laying on the floor being licked by the dog and getting very depressed. Xena shows him some new "accessories" they brought for the farm, including chickens, which Ares gets to TRY and kill for dinner but is unsuccessful. Then Gasgar's army approach the farm, Xena gives Ares some farmer clothes and tell him to convince them that he is a farmer. While getting change Gabrielle stalls and when Ares comes out he gets aggressive with the army and gets beaten up. Xena stops them from killing him and has to put the pinch on him, Ares's dogs tries to protect him and when Xena gets annoyed with the dog Ares protects the dog and names him Horace. Then Horace runs off when he hears his real owner approaching, unfortunately Horace takes one of Ares's gauntlets with him and when Gasgar sees it he realizes that Ares was on the farm. Xena and Gabrielle go and find Gasgar and they pretend that Xena is in love with Ares, which is why she lied to them earlier, so Gabrielle gets annoyed because Xena loves Ares and tells Gasgar where Ares is (but really tricks him). They return to Ares, who has got Horace back, and tell him that Gasgar has gone to find him in the caves where the beast of the eight heads live. Xena tells Ares that he should stay as a farmer for a while and Ares agrees, then Xena and Gabrielle leave talking about how lucky they are.